Height of optimism:
Soldier: Sir, we are surrounded!
Major: Excellent! We can attack in any direction now!
*****
Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain and that's where you get your shitty ideas from!
*****
Q: What did the Gujju mean when he said, "Maro dikro Dubai gayo?"
A: My son drowned.
*****
Q: Who is more satisfied, a man with a million dollars, or a man with six children?
A: The man with six children. The man with a million dollars wants more.
*****
Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE. It means...Without Information Fighting Evrytime!
Wife: It could also mean - With Idiot For Ever.
*****
Patient: Doctor, you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress. I keep losing my temper with people.
Doctor: Tell me about your problem.
Patient: I just did, you stupid bastard!
*****
An American report: We crossed chickens with cows. The new breed simultaneously produces milk, meat and eggs.
Report from France: We crossed flies and bees. The hybrid flies over the trash fields and produces honey.
Report from India: We crossed a melon with cockroaches. When you cut this melon, seeds run away by themselves
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